Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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