So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
