I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I intend to get homeless drunk
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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