you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
