i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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