No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
