You're a womanizer and a bitch.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
