I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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