I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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