I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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