i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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