You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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