The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
