When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
