omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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