i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
