May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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