We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
