SEEEEXXX PLEASE
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
