Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
