is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
