Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
