Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
