youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize