Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
