Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
