if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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