So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
