Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
