Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
