this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
