if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize