He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
