For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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