even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
