We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
