overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
They took my balls.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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