I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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