Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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