My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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