Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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