Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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