He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
