What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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