question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
