I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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