I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
