I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
