theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
