Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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