hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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