Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Ketchup is God's man juice
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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