I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
