Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
