So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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