please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
