Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
