How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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