Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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