I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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