let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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